Everybody has had those times, where they muster up the confidence, to share parts of their authentic selves, and its ruined by self-doubt. Self-doubt can be defined as the lack of confidence in oneself or one’s abilities. The topic of self-doubt is so personal to me because I feel like each time I conquer it; the sh%#t comes back to haunt me more! My blog is a perfect example. I had the idea to start my blog because I was really beginning to embrace my authentic self, and I wanted to share that with any and every person I could. I wanted my transparency to be felt in my writing and for it to infect my readers, to show that no matter how scary it seems, it takes grave strength to bear your soul stand confidently in your true self, 100% of the time.
Even after that revelation I still struggled with sharing my writing. I started to get overly critical about how my blog looked. I started obsessing about not owning my domain name. I began overthinking the content of each piece I wrote, eventually convincing myself it was better off to just not post until I could have everything how I “wanted” it, a certain level of perfection I suppose. I picked myself apart for no reason, out of a little lie called fear. That’s exactly what fear is, a lie created in the mind.
I found myself really missing posting on my blog, so I started writing more content. The more I wrote the deeper that feeling got, the tension on my chest felt like I was physically holding myself back form sharing. I continued to tell myself “be patient,” or “just compile your writing now, so that when your site is how you want it, you’ll have ready content.” I was telling myself anything to get out of posting content and ignoring my own body telling me to share my art. I had to be reminded why I wanted to start my blog in the first place. I had to remember that although having people read my work and relate, makes me feel great, the true satisfaction comes from overcoming myself, stepping outside of my comfort zone and honestly just doing what makes me happy.
Self-doubt can be so dangerous because who else is going to believe in you enough to get you to where you want to go? The answer is no one. No one is going to believe in you, the way that YOU BELIEVE IN YOU! I recently saw I video clip on Instagram, where Will Smith said,
“Following your dreams is a lonely, solitary, scary, dangerous, pursuit, you can’t wait for somebody to think you can do it…and it’s like; because they don’t think you can do nothing they can’t do.”
Hearing him say that was like the clouds parting to expose the sunshine. It was like an “aha moment.” I realized how much I sell myself short by creating excuses for why I shouldn’t post my writing. I recognized how much of a disservice I was doing to my authentic self, the self I’ve been working so hard to master. The thought of purposely doing myself a disservice was cringing, and I knew then I needed to stop thinking and just DO!
The key to my success is trusting myself, the very self I doubt and fear at times. That’s poetic in a way, the very thing we fear or doubt most is often the key to our success, the key we often search for, not knowing how easy it can be accessed through self-trust.
I made my first mistake assuming that self-doubt was something that could be conquered once and I’d be good. I'm learning that self-doubt is something that I will experience throughout life, and it matters most how I handle those phases when they come. I’m constantly being kind, compassionate and patient with myself, as coping skills during emotionally or mentally challenging phases.
If you struggle with self-doubt, remember how very powerful the mind is. Develop coping skills that help you remember who you are! Most importantly, what I would like you to remember is to lay one brick each day, make an agreement with yourself each day, to work, build, and grow in whatever area you need to.
Love is the language friends!
Be True. Be Beautiful. Be Blessed.
-B
Highly recommended Coping Skills (to know more about these skills in depth contact me!):
Affirmations
Breathing exercises
Mindfulness exercises
Reframing tools
Journaling
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